


Sigh. Kwannie

by lattecaramel



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, I dont know how to tag, M/M, boogyu, fight for love, gyuboo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-10-30 12:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17828531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattecaramel/pseuds/lattecaramel
Summary: The moment Mingyu realised his feelings, Seungkwan getting away, threw the feeling far away. && he need to fight it back.





	1. Trying

There was a tall slender man standing at the entrance of the business school. Had been routine for mingyu to wait for Seungkwan as the later’s class finish 10 minute after his. They carpool to uni twice a week as they have almost the same time table this semester. Their house were near to one another anyway. with just 5 minutes drive.

So, Mingyu will fetch Seungkwan in the morning every Thursday & Friday. Had their breakfast together and dinner before going back. This semester had been a bless for both of them.

He smiled as he saw one beautiful blonde figure walking towards him. That kid looks tired.

“Hey!!”

Seungkwan tried to smile as wide as possible looking at the always cheery Mingyu.

“Lets go”

They walked together towards, side by side to Mingyu’s car.

  
“Hm..what do you wanna have for dinner Kwannie?” Spoke Mingyu trying to beat the comfortable silent between them.

  
“Anywhere will be ok for me Hyung. I am just too tired. Why on earth did i decided to take strategy as an elective subject? It was so hard. The assignment i told you few week? The one that we have to interview one CEO regarding their business strategies and what their success motivation strive. I had just finished editing the video last night.”

Seungkwan sighed while massaging his nape.

“How about pizza?”

  
“Again? We just had pizza last friday”

  
“How about pizza at my house? We can ordered in & sleep and watch movie. Then go straight to class from my house. How bout that? My parents rushed for meeting in Jeju this morning. I dont think they will back early anyway && even those clothes you left in my room were still there. So ..”

  
“Hm.. tempting... hmmm~~~! can we drop by for ice-cream? Please... hyung..”

Mingyu just laughed that the cute whiny Seungkwan.

  
Seungkwan indeed the ultimate definition caramel macchiato. Creamy, fluff and sweet yet cold and still strong coffee as you sip.

  
Seungkwan as you see is bubbly, cheerful, caring, sweet yet when he needs to. He as strong willed as no one ever will. He is strong headed, determined prior his cute & beautiful appearances.

“Sure. If will be on me. Ok Kwannie?”

“Awww~ that’s why everyone need a Kim Mingyu in life! “

They dropped by at Baskin & Robbins. Seungkwan’s favourite ice cream place.  
‘Very Berry Strawberry’ bought for tonight. accompany with margarita & beef pepperoni pizza.

Simple. Yet enough.

Sleepover night was always comforting.  
They brought everything to the living room. Tonight will be marathon of How To Train Your Dragon 1& 2\. Preparing for the third that will be in theatre soon.

“Hyung, don’t you think i look like Toothless?”

  
“Seriously Kwannie? You? Toothless?  
So what am i then”

  
“You belong in different animation Hyung. Not even part of this production.”  
“Like what?”

  
“Hmm.. donkey in Shrek? Hahahaha”

Their conversation & relationship always being like tom & jerry. or maybe like push & pull relationships as per gossip by those in Uni.  
Many of them assumed Seungkwan & Mingyu are dating. People claimed they were campus couple. No matter how many times they denied it. It never cool down.

Seungkwan falled asleep on the couch. His quiet snores can be heard. Smile curved on Mingyu’s face. He always have one soft spot of Seungkwan. He treasured this baby brother more than anyone.

Mingyu was older by a year but had being in the same class as Seungkwan during college. The smartie Seungkwan was a jump class student. He crushed 9 subjects per semester to make it doable to finish in their preparation from 2 years in a year. So that’s explained almost everything.

The time passed a little after 1am. Mingyu cleaned the remaining foods & trying to wake Seungkwan up.  
This mission to shake the heavy sleeper will never success. It was easier to solve mathematics question rather than waking up Seungkwan.

  
Mingyu ended up giving up. He carried up Seungkwan can take him to his room. Placed him on his usual side whenever they have sleepover night.

 

***🐶🍊

“Morning Kwannie. Get ready! Breakfast ready. I had made beansprout soup & rice. So gets ready & fast!”

  
“ hmm~~ why~~ so early.”

Yawn. He fidgeted at the fact that the morning arisen. Mingyu pulled his hand and dragged him to the shower.

“Now Kwannie! “

“OK!!! “

“Hyung!!!!!!!”

Seungkwan’s voice hit the morning peace.

Mingyu ran to the shower as soon as he can.  
‘Is he fell or something?’

  
“Why Kwannie? Are you ok?”

  
“Towel Please?”

Mingyu just chuckled, shakes his head in disbelief. He passed a tower to the later and went straight to the dining table waiting for Seungkwan to get ready.

‘Blue jumper, ripped jeans and done. Here we go’.

  
“Kwannie! I just bought that last week. Do you really need to wear my new jumper?”

  
“Hm~ you never say I couldn’t”

He placed his bag on the stool, & started his meal.

  
“Wow, you are really jjang Hyung. Indeed! The Kim Mingyu we need in life!”

  
His heart soften upon hearing the later’s compliment on him.

  
“Just eat or we will be late, you.. jumper thief.”

  
Seungkwan sticked out his tounge teasing his favourite Hyung. At least, that’s what Mingyu assumed.

 

***🐶😭

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

  
Non-stop notification pop up on his screen.

  
‘I need to finish this assignment for real!’

  
Seungkwan flipped his phone upside down to ignore the distraction.

Sigh. After 1/2 hour. He finally had a moment to spare. He sent his work email and walla. The assignment was done!

‘Kim Mingyu

  
11 new messages notification’

Sigh..  
He slides the screen up.

‘Kwannie’ 11:00 am

  
‘Kwannie’ 11:02 am

  
‘Seungkwan!!!’ 11:03 am

  
‘Boo Seungkwan!’ 11:04 am

  
‘I saw her!’ 11:04 am

  
‘I saw that girl of my life!’ 11:04 am

  
‘The girl i told you i saw that day. Wait! I gonna say hello to her before she disappeared again.’ 11:05am

 

Seungkwan can feels his heart scattered to pieces. He felt his stomach was twisted.

  
He knew this moment will arrived. Just that he didn’t expect it will come so soon. At least not this soon.

He got too used to Mingyu. They been with each other sinced after high school. Basically been 4 years. They spend almost everyday together. They shared lots of thing. Secret & clothes & lots others.

He always knew Mingyu was straight. Deep inside his heart, he slightly wish his beloved hyung, one day might interested in guys or specifically with Him!

Guess, the roses are red & beautiful but just not for you. He sighed before continued to read the rest.

‘Her smile!!!!’ 11:05am

  
‘I approached her!!!’ 11:25am

  
‘I got her name, hp no &&&& a date later. Save your congrats. Cause i am just that charming’. 11:25am

  
‘She is in your faculty. Same course as you. Her name is Nana’ 11:26am

‘God!!!!! Nana! Seriously?

  
What should i reply to that hyung?  
She was the one he keeps on mentioning about that day?’

Seungkwan rubbed his head, looked into right and left, trying to think on how can he tell Mingyu the truth.

  
The truth that happened without hurting him.

‘Hm.. i am happy for you Hyung. &  
I have to stay back. So i will go back by my own. Have fun’

  
His fingers lingered around and finally!  
Pressed SENT.

‘Ji Hyung. Jeonghan Hyung.  
Are you free for meet up? Please.’

  
He sent another message in the group message to his beloved hyungs from high school.

They met in music club & instantly clicked!

 

‘Ding!’

’Ding!’

Ji Hyung- ‘sure, my house at 5’

  
Jeonghan Hyung- ‘ok... see ya at ji’s’

Seokmin- ‘Ya!! Why Jihoon Hyung & Jeonghan Hyung only? You traitor!’

‘Hahahahhaha.’

Seungkwan- ‘love ya... meet you at later at ji hyung’s house’ & seokmin-ah. You post everywhere on sns that you are going to sleep the whole day today. So why should i bother?’

Seokmin- ‘still!!’

  
Joshua Hyung- ‘then what are your excuses to exclude me?’

  
Seungkwan-‘you are jeonghan hyung plus one. So like kill two birds with one stone.’

  
Jeonghan Hyung-‘hahaha .. plus one. He loves me more than you.. i love you baby boo!!’

  
Ji Hyung- ‘ignore them seungkwan. btw my parents went for holiday. So, you all can sleep over if you want anyway.’

  
Seungkwan-‘ love you!!’

Those hyung always being his place for support and encouragement. The place he told something that cant be leaked to Mingyu. Something like....

 

***🐶🍊

‘Busy?

  
Since when Kwannie even busy when it comes to me?  
Today is Friday. Weird.  
Why didn’t he tell me, on the way to Uni just now? Weird...’

  
Mingyu wondering.

 

***🐶🍊

 

“Jampong!!! Tangsuyuk”

they screamed as they entered Jihoon’s house.

Jihoon knew they will be so washed out when they arrive later. & he was so lazy to cook anyway. So take out!

They played games and karaoke in the house, indeed Seokmin decisions on bringing his portable karaoke mic was a good choice.  
As they were singing. Happily.

Seokmin & Joshua lost the battle. He want to sleep all his might after all.  
In the living room, Seungkwan sat with Jihoon on the sofa eating the ice cream that Seungkwan bought.

Very Berry Strawberry.  
His & Jeonghan’s favourite.

“So, spilled the tea”

Jeonghan asked as he sitting facing the two.

  
“How should i start?”

  
“Is this about him? Mingyu?”

Jihoon poured out his best guess.

  
Seungkwan just nodded at that. He can’t restrained himself from pouting. Jihoon pulled Seungkwan for a hug.

  
“Dont worry. We understand”

  
“So, what’s about him?”

Jeonghan asked again. Clarifying the question that was still unanswered.

 

Sigh.

Seungkwan finally told them. Everything that happened today. Mingyu announcement on getting the name and hp no he got from Nana.

‘Nana’

That name even made Jihoon & Jeonghan gasped. They were there when the said lady came and verbally attack Seungkwan.. lots of time. Until one day, Seungkwan cant even hold it inside.

“I will steal Mingyu from you. A homo like you dont deserve the most perfect guy in Art Faculty. The one & only hottie that havent fall into my lap.”

Jeonghan was about to counterattack when Seungkwan replied.

“He wont fall for a bitch trap anyway. He is not that stupid”

Smirked. Nana just smirked widely.

  
“He will. Just, you dont come crawling & crying later when you was us fucking in the car you carpooled. Oh ya. A homo loser like you ALL dont deserve someone mighty as him anyway.”

“So what you gonna do now?”

That question brought Seungkwan back to reality.

  
“I don’t know”

“Is he even know that you like him?”

Seungkwan just shakes his head upon the question. He had been in love with Mingyu since.. forever.

Every gesture made by Mingyu warmed his heart. His smile, his hug, his cooking, his cry for attention.

“No matter what happened. You have to tell either one. To him. At least he need to know the truth about Nana. Ok Baby Boo?”

  
Jeonghan pat Seungkwan’s head attentively. Seungkwan deserved all the love in the world. His heart is too soft for his own good.

  
They finally called off the night.

 

***🐶🍊

 

“Seungkwan. You application for exchange student programme been approved. Classes will start next month. & all documents needed had being prepared. Kindly pick it up at student engagement office.”

 

He read the letter again & again.

He knew he made a coward decision when he decided to apply it after hearing Mingyu excitement voice upon a girl that he saw in the cafe. At that moment, Seungkwan thought he need to clarify his feeling.

Now he pretty sure of his decision after reading the message.

 

“Kwannie.. had been long since i saw you. Why my favourite lil bro had to so busy?

  
Hmmmm~~~ hmmm~~~ i tried to call you, but seem like i cant reach you. I just wanna inform you.

  
Me & Nana are dating”

 

For the first time in life, Seungkwan been so sure on his decision. Now he know. Indeed. He need a break from Mingyu in order to take care of his own heart.

 

He messaged the Vocal Club Chat Group.

 

Seungkwan- ‘Hyung!!!! I nailed it! I passed the exchange student programme!! So this baby boo will be oversea for a semester~~~’

Joshua Hyung- ‘Congrats Baby Boo.’

  
Ji Hyung- ‘Congrats!! You deserve it!’

  
Seokmin- ‘Congrats Boo!!! Love you. Dont forget me. Should i pre-book my ticket to visit you?’

  
Jeonghan- ‘Congrats Uri Boo!

 

Seungkwan cant thank them enough. They had been so supportive and helpful. They understand his decision to go Uni with them especially on the day he had to carpool with Mingyu.

 

Joshua- ‘Baby Boo, my neighbour, Vernon from art department also received the offer. He wana know and meet you too. At least you will have someone you know during the programme.’

 

Seungkwan- ‘sure hyung. Lets meet up this Friday’

 

Every appointment will be set every Thursday & Friday so that he dont have to spend time with Mingyu. Less meet up. Less heartbreak. Seungkwan lowkey brainwashing his mind set.

 

***🐶🍊

Mingyu tried to meet Seungkwan for the third time this week. ‘Where on earth had Kwannie been hiding?’

 

Ding

  
‘Hyung, i will go to Uni with Ji hyung again tomorrow. We have something to do.’

 

Mingyu frowned reading it.  
He read the same sentence too last week & the week before.

Just the name change from on to another.

  
First Jihoon, Seokmin, Jeonghan, Joshua then back to Jihoon. Mingyu aware on their friendship but Seungkwan always keep it balance between them. He felt like they had been forbid him from meeting Seungkwan.

Had been a month since he told Seungkwan about him & Nana. His decision on wanting to try to date that lady. He have yet want to introduce both of two important person in his life.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Only few days left before his flight. Seungkwan know he have to inform Mingyu.

 

‘OK! Lets dropped by Mingyu Hyung’s house before headed to Jihoon Hyung’s place.’

 

Hmmm~ the vocal club hyung will celebrate his ‘farewell’ dinner tonight.

 

So why not?

 

Seungkwan parked his car a lil far from Mingyu’s place. He need to gather his thoughts. At least by walking towards the house might help him to clear his mind.

Might.. maybe

 

‘Eh? Why are they outside?’

  
Seem like Mingyu was talking with his course-mates MyongHo and Wonwoo

He walked near them, stunned when he heard his name. Didnt mean to eavesdrop. but..

  
There.. Here he was..

“Mingyu, why idont i see you with Seungkwan anymore?”

  
“You really did breakup with him after you get together with Nana, aren’t you?”

Mingyu scoffed at the questions.

“I am not & How many time do i need to emphasise. I am not dating him. Never before! & Never will.”

 

Seungkwan’s heart break into pieces.  
Scattered even more..

 

“Do you think i would rather wake up beside Nana or Kwannie?

Direct answer right? Even if i am gay?

Don't you think I deserve someone better looking. Like Jeonghan maybe.” Mingyu replied with a smirk curved on his face.

 

“Gyu!!! but he was your bestie. How could you say that?” Yelled WonwoO.

“Why would anyone think i am gay? Two swords fighting definitely not for me! Ewwww”

Mingyu mockingly answer that turned Seungkwan’s heart from broken to dark and pitch black.

 

Seungkwan cleared his throat muttered loudly the word “thanks” before headed back to his car.

 

Three of them turned. Shocked.

  
“Shit!”

Mingyu chased him. Blessed by his long leg. Mingyu managed to block the other from running away right before he entered his car.

 

“Stop!!”

  
“Why?”

  
“It is not like what you heard”

  
“I had heard enough Mingyu!”

“Why are you so worked up. It’s not like you like me or anything to be offended that way? and plus, what are you doing here? aren’t you busy anyway?” Replied Mingyu sarcastically.

 

‘wow, a month and half with Nana had change his Mingyu into a jerk. Just wow’

 

“Why? I can’t even visit unannounced anymore? So, i need to book an appointment? I am sorry Kim Mingyu-ssi. I will do next time. Sorry for the interference.”

 

“Stop it!” yelled Mingyu.

  
Seungkwan flinched at that. He never heard Mingyu mad, left alone at him. maybe.. just maybe love really change you for the good & bad.

 

“Stop it! & dont act like victim now Kwannie! & stop all the sarcasm. You are the one who being busy anyway!”

 

Seungkwan pushed Mingyu aside, hold his door handle before continued.

 

“I thought I should inform you. Guess, it doesn’t even matter anymore.

I heard enough.. your ‘Ewww???’ Wow! You are feeling so disgusted at me anyway. You always knew i am gay. Thanks. I thought, Nana being a bitch to me were more than enough but yet... i didnt expect that from you too. Two lovers really gave a combo.”

 

“Dont drag her into this, Kwannie. She’s innocent!”

Mingyu raised his voice again. That tone had been too much for Seungkwan to handle. He was shaken too hell.

Mingyu stunned looking at Seungkwan’s tears that wets his cheeks. Deep inside he trapped with guilty. He knew he was the one whose wrong yet he blamed it on Seungkwan.

 

“Sorry Kwannie”

 

Seungkwan shakes his head. Sigh.. He opened his door, entered, and started his car. He want to just dashed out from the scene. Instead, his last two cent braincell did all the job. He rolled the window down and poured everything.

 

“Thank you. Kim Mingyu-ssi for everything”

  
Stunned hearing his full name from Seungkwan’s mouth. Seungkwan never addressed him that way. Too formal. Too heartless. Too soulless and he knew he was the culprit.

  
His soul and rationality had left his body as soon as Seungkwan’s final words reached his ears directly to his brain & strike his heart.

 

“Listen. Please Kim Mingyu.  
for once and for all.

Thanks. Dont worry. I wont appear in front of you ANYMORE. You dont need to see this face ANYMORE.

I am too ugly for you anyway, right.

& the truth. Nana had always being a bitch. I hope your blindness will be cured before its too late.

&&. I do.. I am romantically interested into you. I fell in love with you, long time ago. I am in love with you Kim Mingyu.

I though there will be a miracle one day. you might like guys or specifically. Me. Guess, that’s not important anymore. For your sake. I will throw this feeling far away until it reached 7 layered hell.

Thanks for all those memories.  
I am sorry for hoping & wasting your precious time all this while. It had been a wonderful charity to this UGLY guy called Boo Seungkwan and goodbye. Kim Minggyu.”

 

Mingyu stunned.. stunned looking at Seungkwan’s car getting far away from his sight. Stunned at the information. Too much for him to handle one at a time.

 

***🐶🍊

 

  
Mingyu walked slowly with his head on the ground towards his house.

  
‘What had i done?’

“Mingyu!!! Where’s Seungkwan?”

  
MyongHo and Wonwoo asked furiously. Peaking right and left to search for Seungkwan.

 

“He’s gone. I killed him.”

  
“What?”

  
“Indeed both of you were right. Everyone too.”

They looked at Mingyu as if he grew another horn.

  
“Seungkwan do like me. romantically.”  
Explained Mingyu, slowly.

 

“Gosh!! Thank God. I always pray for both of you to come clean about your feelings. I hate Nana anyway. She too bitchy to be a girlfriend anyway...”

Wonwoo was interrupted Mingyu’s high pitch question.

“What? Seungkwan said the same thing too. What do you mean by a bitch?”

  
Myongho just laughed before continued.

  
“She changed partner every new semester. Sometimes every months. Those who are not rich enough wont even being entertained. & she is homophobic too.”

‘What have i done?’ Mingyu cant believed himself too. He ditched his bestfriend for a girl he barely knew.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Seungkwan ran straight inside and hugged Jihoon.

 

“What’s wrong baby Boo~?” Joshua patted his head, asking in concerned manner. Seungkwan just continued becoming a sobbing mess.

 

“I drop by at Mingyu’s place to tell him about my flight & the exchange student programme and then...”

Seungkwan spilled the tea, everything that happened. Every details.

“ I promised, i will punch him if i meet him later!”

Seokmin and Jeonghan say out loud. They can’t believe the gentle Mingyu, the housewife Mingyu did this to  
Seungkwan.

Seungkwan spend his remaining days preparing at home and they came for sleepover everyday till the dated day. His mom sensed the weirdness. The was no Mingyu, everyone were present at the airport except Mingyu.

 

Seungkwan sent his white flag before fighting in this battle. He had been hurt too much. He told his mind again and again. Enchanting the spell.

  
‘How ugly he was and how Mingyu feels disgust of him’

  
How he don’t deserve to be love.  
He been hurt and change his heart.

 

Boo Seungkwan.  
This caramel machiatto had turn to be Iced Americano.

 

***🐶🍊

 


	2. Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the invitation of love arrive late.

 

Movie keep on playing it’s contents with no audiences. Mingyu’s eyes fixed on it but his mind wondering somewhere else.

Replaying Seungkwan’s words again and again on continuous mode.

His sad face, his pout, his tears, his trembling shaking body.

Everything about Seungkwan seem so real. Like he was here repeating the same scene again and again.

 

“I do.. I am romantically interested into you. I fell in love with you long time ago. I am in love with you Kim Mingyu.”

 

He was in love with me? as in me? Kim Mingyu? The Clumsy, Tall beanpole?  
This whole thing doesn’t make any sense!

  
How could you fall in love with someone who tease you non-stop?

Seungkwan was the one that keeps on denying all gossips that had been circulated around. The one who convinced him to ignore all those tease.

 

In the end.

  
Seungkwan being the one who justified the truth.

Never once crossed Mingyu’s mind that Seungkwan might fall for him. He always knew Seungkwan was different.

How he always have soft spot from his Kwannie. It might just be the same case. but... not this!

Mingyu ruffed his hair harshly.

  
Determined! I need to ask him. I need to clear all this!

 

***🐶🍊

 

Lots of things on his mind, gathering his courage to ask, preparing his heart for all possible answer.

 

Two car passed by and parked infront of Seungkwan’s house. One after another walked into the house.

Seungkwan’s parents, his high school’s hyung. Jeonghan, Jihoon, Soonyoung, Seokmin and no Seungkwan.

  
Wait.. No Seungkwan.

  
Where is he?

 

Mingyu rushed to them. Stabilised his breath.

 

“Aunty, Hello. Hm.. where’s Kwannie?”

 

Everyone’s attention turned to Mingyu.

 

Jihoon walked towards to greet Seungkwan’s used-to-be favourite person.

  
“Hello to you too Kim Mingyu”

  
“Hyung, where’s Kwannie?”

 

“Everyone, I’m taking him with me for a while. OK?”

  
Jihoon pulled Mingyu to follow him.  
Everyone just nodded and entered the house.  
They sit in Mingyu’s car to talk.  
To let him know.  
Everything he should know.

 

***🐶🍊

 

  
“Mingyu, Kwannie. He went for an exchange student in UK. For a year. Just now? All of us just got back from the airport.”

  
“but Jihoon Hyung, why all of sudden?”

 

Sigh..

  
“It was not out of the bloom Mingyu—ah~ It was intentionally.   
Seungkwan just tried to give his heart a chance to heal.

  
He sent his application when you started talking nonstop about the girl you fancy, when you start looking for which faculty she’s from. From that time Mingyu. Like 3 months ago?”

Mingyu ruffed his hair again. He dont even bother if it’s messy or whatever.

  
“but why? He didn’t tell me anything. There were never a secret between us.”

  
“What you want him to tell you?

Hi Mingyu hyung, i applied for exchange student cause i am jealous of your exciting tone over another girl?”

Mocked Jihoon.

  
“He applied and agreed to go cause he need a break from you. He need to prepare his heart from breaking even more of seeing you with another person.

He did all that to take care of your friendship, cause he love you too much.

  
He reluctantly accepts the programme. You know what triggered his decision?

Your message.. that.. you’re dating Nana.”

  
Sigh. Jihoon hold his anger before continued.

“Do you even know? Nana had been mentally bullied him.. Everyday. Every single day. Cause you are the only remaining “HOT STUDENT” left to be dated.

Nana keeps on planting into Seungkwan’s mind on how ugly Seungkwan is, how Seungkwan, being a gay is an embarrassment, & your friendship will only bring you down & the ace of it her argument was 

That you only be there for him out of pity.”

 

Mingyu’s jaw dropped. Seungkwan’s tears & words re-play on its own.

  
“Thanks for all those memories.  
I am sorry for hoping & wasting your precious time all this while. It had been a wonderful charity to this UGLY guy called Boo Seungkwan and goodbye. Kim Minggyu.”

Charity. Ugly. Mingyu felt his own cheeks getting wet. Tears flowing on its own.

  
“What kind of stupidity is that?” He hushed but didn’t go unnoticed to Jihoon.

“but then.. that didn’t erased the fact of what he heard from your own mouth.

You subconsciously had proved Nana’s words.

I hate you so much for breaking his heart. Even if you hate him, hate the fact that he’s gay. You could at least drafted your sentence kindly.

At least.. Mingyu..

At least that was the last piece of charity you can do.

No matter how much i try to fight. I always feel that his feeling towards you was reciprocated.

Maybe.. i am wrong.

He went to meet you that day was to inform & surprise you. Guess he was the one getting all the surprises.”

 

 

Sobs were heard throughout Mingyu’s car. Jihoon wrapped his hand around the later.

“I am so confused, Jihoon Hyung. I am so confuse. After he poured his hear, after i saw his tears. My heart ache so bad. I dont even know the reason why. Do i feel this way cause he’s my beloved baby bro or cause I might actually likes him too. I am seriously don’t know.”

 

Jihoon continued patting Mingyu’s head. Deep inside, he wants them to be happy,  
but, fate were playing with them.  
There might be something better. something bigger waiting for them.

 

“Mingyu. I need to go inside. I can’t just ditched them and camp here with you anyway. Hm~ 

Mingyu-ah. Calm your mind. Calm your feelings first. && if you feel that it worthy for you to fight? Then, fight for it. If not, learn to let go. Let him go.

  
Cause one year is nothing compared to how long Seungkwan had suffered of hiding everything from you.

Just one more thing. Dont do something that will make you regret in the future.  
For once, Listen to your heart. Mingyu~ah”

 

“Thanks Jihoon Hyung.” Mingyu wiped his tears and drove back to his place.

 

Never once glimpse in Mingyu’s mind that he might actually will fall for Seungkwan. The moment that Cupid’s arrow pierced to his heart. That’s the moment another page of destiny turned.

 

‘Boo Seungkwan will it be ok for me to love you?’

  
‘How could i miss all your countless anxious gaze?’

  
‘No!! How could i miss the Cupid’s call when my entire world filled with you.’

 

Mingyu constantly monologues after monologues between himself

 

‘I am sorry Kwannie. Before you even had the chance to rehearse your love. It was put on stage. I took the dream away. I fail to feel all the butterflies gist you had being given me.

 

‘Heavens, will you grant my earnest wish,  
Please allow this love. I will crawl in 7 layered hell to search for the feeling he threw away.’

 

‘Dear Heavens, will you grant my earnest wish, Please allow this love.’


	3. unspoken words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those words left loging met it’s surface

Alarm blasted echoed all over the house. Vernon opened the door of Seungkwan’s room.

Shakes his head, this had been his routine since they moved here. Both Seungkwan and Vernon were the two representatives that were selected from their yearfor the program.

“Kwan~aa, wake up. You gonna be late again if you don’t.”

At first Vernon woke him up as the point of annoyance. Irritated by the loud voice of Seungkwa’s alarm. Now, it has been Vernon’s daily routine. Sleepyhead Seungkwan will always be legendary. He won't triggered even if the house been on fire.

 

He fidgeted from sleep as Vernon pull his curtain. His eyes move along the entrance of the morning sunlight.

“OK Noni, I will get ready in 10”.

Vernon just rolled his eyes and pulled Seungkwan off his bed. HIs morning routine since 3 months ago had never been not challenging.

“Now!”

as he pushed Seungkwan to the shower.

 

***🐶🍊

 

“Ripped Jeans and Hoodie. && I am ready to go”

He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Enchanting the same spells every night and day.

“Don't forget Boo Seungkwan, you are such one ugly disgusting fella.”

  
He reminds himself daily. Never once he forgets Mingyu’s voice. He missed him too much. It Hurts. Its hurts to keep on reminding himself with those negative words yet, he needs it. He have to protect his heart from breaking again. It broke one, If it happened again, Seungkwan not sure if he able to handle it.

 

Vernon just smiled at the sight. He knew and he respects Seungkwn’s decision. He saw those night where Seungkwan cried in his sleep, those moments where Seungkwan just lost in his thought thinking and don’t bother his surroundings. He saw how much Seungkwan cries looking at his phone. Vernon updates those vocal hyung frequently. He pledged his promise to Joshua, to take care of Seungkwan. Ensure he will be alright.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Mingyu’s alarm hit it’s marked at 2 am. He searched for his phone. Doing his new morning routine since 3 months ago.

 

‘Morning, it’s getting cold here. I think it’s gonna be the same for you. Wrapped well Kwannie . I have class quiz today. Hope everything gonna run smooth. Hope i can answer well.

Kwanie~aa.. Remember one think .  
I Love you’

 

Mingyu took deep breath before hitting the word

‘Send!’

 

He knew Seungkwan never reply any of it.  
His first few messages were asking for forgiveness. Then he continued by telling his plan for the day and his update of his daily activities. Along with his message reminding Seungkwan how much he miss him, how much he loves him actually.

 

It been a hell on Seungkwan side but even worst for Mingyu. His daily day full of guilt and regrets of letting himself being used. For letting his Kwannie slip of his hand. He has to fight because he knew their love neither beginning nor the end cause he kill it even before its being brought to life.

Their love basically in despair as you never see it coming. Like riding a sunken ship, dying while searching for its broken piece.

 

***🐶🍊

 

‘Ding’

 

Seungkwan scuffed at hearing the sound. He knew whose messages it coming from. A message will hit his phone every day at 5 pm. He wondered why Mingyu did all this? Is this a new kind of charity that he trying to do? 9 hours differences between UK and Korea. Why was he still awake at 2 in the morning anyway?

  
Nevertheless, he still read the message.

Like all those messages he received. Mingyu never fail to make his heart blossom. Seungkwan lips never fail to curve a smile. He hated himself for having a such soft spot for Mingyu.

 

‘Ding‘

‘Kwannie , It’s raining today. &&  
It reminded me of your cute face whenever we run in the rain seeking for shade. && remember the café we used to have coffee before headed to class? Today, they served you favourite scones too.

You remember yongji? The kiddo who always call you her ‘yeppo uncle’ asked for you again today. Guess she missed you. & Kwannie, I miss you more.’

 

Tears flows down Seungkwan’s cheek again. He wanted to let everything go. Let everything be as what they used to be. In the end, he just cant.

Seungkwan was too afraid that he might being hurt again. What if all this just a prank?

Deep inside, Seungkwan knew Mingyu didn’t mean it when he call him ugly.

They were close enough with the latter to know Mingyu didn’t mean it. He heard Mingyu’s sleep talking lots of time. He had heard how Mingyu keeps on calling him as his pretty Boo. Even his contact name were saved as Bootiful Kwannie in Mingyu’s phone.

But..

  
Why was he got too worked up and sad? The fact that Mingyu said it after he got in relationship with Nana? The fact that he sounded so disgusted with the idea of them being together. The fact that he never thought Seungkwan is ugly but Seungkwan was just not good-looking enough to be with him.

 

‘Even if I am gay? Don’t you think I deserved someone better looking like. Jeonghan maybe.’

 

Mingyu’s words keeps on lingering in his mind. The fact knowing that he will never  have a chance cause he was not as gorgeous as Jeonghan Hyung.

He thought love was to be felt, he forgot that love needs to be seen too. Deep inside he knew he was not ugly. just that he was never good looking enough to be stand side by side with Mingyu.

  
The path had been labeled as friends will never can be re-constructed. He will never be enough. He can never be.

 

Seungkwan put his phone away. He didn’t reply Mingyu’s messages again today. He’s afraid he might lose his consciousness and fall for Mingyu again and again when he never even out of love to begin with.

  
He was afraid he might forgot where he stand. The wall he tried to built in his heart melted down reading Mingyu’s love.

What if this all was Mingyu’s ways to save their relationship? He knows how much Mingyu treasure the value of friendship. What if all these were act out of norm just cause he was used to Seungkwan present.

Too many assumptions. Too many what, how and if to be answered.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Mingyu changed to his pyjamas. Throwing himself to his bed. Today had been tiring.  
Second year was hard.

 

He met with Jihoon & Soonyoung for lunch today. Their love for one another made Mingyu boiled with jealousy.

Those hyung often came with good advise that will end up made you think. They were so mature and poetic.

  
Maybe being in Music department made them artistic in a sense. I don’t know~.

 

“Mingyu~ah, until when do you want to keep on punishing yourself?”

Questioned Soonyoung looking at Mingyu’s solemn eyes.

They were aware of Mingyu’s efforts but they were afraid that Mingyu might grew tired of the lonesome battle and ended up with a bigger scar for both of them.

Sigh.

  
“Until whenever he will come to realisation with the fact that I actually do love him back. The feeling he hold inside all this while was reciprocated.

  
If all this while, all this years my actions didn’t reach him. Ain’t able to make him realised how i truly feels then i will tell him repeatedly. Cause i know he’s the guy worth fighting for.”

 

Jihoon just smiled upon hearing Mingyu’s words. They grew attached to Mingyu after Seungkwan left. They felt Mingyu’s sincerity. Jihoon intertwined his fingers along with Soonyoung, on his laps.

Having their silent mind exchange gaze conversations.

  
Mingyu had matured. A lot.

Mingyu picked his phone. Looked over screenshots he saved from Seungkwan’s instagram. The least he could do to suppress his feelings.

  
Mingyu shines seeing Seungkwan’s photo.

  
How his smile lighten up Mingyu’s life.  
but then, his blonde hair had converted to blue black.

His usual pink or orange jumper had changed to black and grey.

  
How his Seungkwan moved from Disney Channel to Fox Action.

 

‘Dear Heavens, will you grant my earnest wish, Please allow this love.’

 

‘Deae Kwannie,  
I hope i opened the Cupid’s letter earlier so i can shower you with endless love.  
I miss your smile, your embrace, i miss your wicked tease, our daily fight.  
I MISS YOU.

I never hope for everything to comeback as before cause it can never be.  
You were confused cause you didn’t know my love for you. How can everything be the same when a whole new dish served for dinner.

Like how winter melts as spring peeks its season. That’s how i hope it will be. All of this as just another long nightmare.

I need you. I miss you. I love you Boo Seungkwan.

 

‘Send’

 

Mingyu’s never fail to send his love thought before he went to bed. He knew the 7 hours different will make his love letter greet Seungkwan first thing in the morning. How he hope Seungkwan heart will open for him. Again.

 

‘Dear Heavens, will you grant my earnest wish, Please allow this love to stage its theatre.’

 


	4. Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally- the wake up call the need.

“One Iced Americano, Grande.”

  
Mingyu stopped by Starbucks for a coffee. He goes to the same outlet everyday, request the same menu cup reminds him of Seungkwan. There’s always a cup of iced americano in Seungkwan’s hand. How they used study in the corner of the store for hours.

 

Memories.

  
“Iced Americano for Kim Mingyu.”

  
Mingyu walked to take his coffee and walked straight to their usual table. He took out his study material. Unsure why he only can study here. It feels like Seungkwan presence across him. Keeping his alert.

  
Mingyu never realised all this while. How much he will appreciate someone after they were gone.

 

***🐶🍊

 

‘Ding’

Mingyu searched for his phone lying on his bed. Instagram notification stated

‘Boo Seungkwan posted a photo’.

  
2 am. Hm.. 3 pm UK’s time.

 

His felt his heart twisted, filled with jealousy.  
The photo of Seungkwan carrying Vernon on his back. Happily at Music Festival. Mingyu switched off his phone, put it on the table. He solemnly looks away.

 

Should he gave up and let Seungkwan be happy? or should he continue this lonely fight? Something left unnoticed by Mingyu. He didn’t slide the next page. a photo of a kissing couple.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Mingyu massaged his tired neck as he walks entering the library. Looking for a reference book for his elective subject.

Sigh ‘Why did he select Marketing as elective?’ If only Seungkwan was there to help him. The latter was in Business School with full scholarship. This will just be a piece of cake for Seungkwan.

He keeps on walking from one shelf to another. Ahha~ ‘International Marketing and its cultural implementation’. Relieved. He had found it! Walla!

He flipped to ensure that was the book he need.

Last borrower: Boo Seungkwan. Sigh..

 

‘Dear God, enlighten me. Is this a punishment for neglecting the gift you send to me?’ He was haunted by Seungkwan ever since the day he made him cry. He seem to see Seungkwan in everything.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Today, Seungkwan posted a photo of him and Vernon. Again.

  
He uploaded it yesterday & the day before.  
Mingyu wondering if all this was a hint. A hint that he need to give up?

 

***🐶🍊

 

16 January 2019

 

Seungkwan went to the guard’s booth to take his parcel. As far as he concerned, he didn’t make any online transaction. Hm.. an error maybe?

 

“Hello, i came to take my parcel. I am from block 2, house no 2.”

 

As the parcel change from one hand to another, Seungkwan lost his strength.

  
“To : Boo Seungkwan  
From : Kim Mingyu”

 

He brought the box back to his place. Opened it. He smiled upon seeing it.

  
A hoodie along with a ‘Happy Birthday’ card. Mingyu remembered. He knew Mingyu did cause he keep buzzing him the whole day. The hyung + Mingyu went for dinner to celebrate his birthday without him. the audacity.

 

Just that Mingyu took an extra mile by sending him a present. How could you not love this guy when he was so attentive & caring. The walls protecting his heart start to melt again~

 

Seungkwan wore Mingyu’s gift to his Birthday dinner with Vernon & few other friends. Been a while since he being in pink. It help on highlighting his soft features. He looks fluff and beautiful.

 

‘Ding’

 

‘Boo Seungkwan posted a photo’.

  
A photo of him blowing his birthday cake wearing the pink hoodie with a caption of

‘thank you for the gift. It meant a lot to me.’

 

Mingyu flew Straight to cloud 9 when he saw it. His tummy fills with butterflies. He was too happy. He kept on smiling the whole day. Mingyu’s heart was full of worries when he decided to send the parcel. What if Seungkwan hates it? What id Seungkwan throw it away by just reading the sender’s name?

 

In the end, you will only know the result by taking the risk. He knew he shouldn’t stop.

Seungkwan definitely worth all the fight.

 

***🐶🍊

 

7 April 2019.

 

Mingyu was ready to walk to the shower when his phone rang.

‘Who’s the hell calling me at 8 am?’

  
He murmured his soft complain while searching for his phone. He nearly tripped when his saw the name.

 

‘Bootiful Kwannie’

He immediately slide the green button.

His heart dropped when he heard Seungkwan’s voice. He can clearly hear the latter boy hiccups. He knew Seungkwan was drunk. Seungkwan always being a light drinker.

“Kwannie?!”

 

“seeing-il chughae hyung. Happy Birthday Kim Mingyu”

soft sobs along with the wish heard.

Mingyu’s lips curve to a smile. He did his mental calculation. 11 pm UK time. It still his Birthday. Seungkwan did remember.

 

“Where are you Kwannie~ah? Why were you so drunk? How much have you drink?”

 

“Argh!!!! This Hyung! Even in my dream he keeps on nagging.”

 

Mingyu laughed. He changed the FaceTime Audio to FaceTime Video. He knew it was wrong to take advantage like this on Seungkwan but, then he have to take this risk. He missed the later..  too much.

When he saw Seungkwan’s drunk face, lying on his bed. Mingyu sighed in relief. At least Seungkwan was at home.

 

Seungkwan’s full cheeks covered in peach pink. Seungkwan indeed is beautiful. He saw Seungkwan placed his phone by another pillow. Mingyu laughed at his cute habits.

 

Seungkwan just pretended to be hard & dark.

Inside, he still the soft Kwannie. The whiny, cute, bubbly. The extra whipped cream caramel macchiato type.

 

The comfortable soft silent hits them.  
Feels like Seungkwan was back home with him.

 

“Mingyu~ah!!! why are you doing this?  
Why do you keep on chasing me after you did all that? I am a gay! god forsaken. I am so gay for you! I don’t deserve to stand beside you. and..   
I am not good looking!!!

 

Boo Seungkwan, all this was a dream.. dont ever forget. you are such one ugly disgusting fella”

 

Mingyu’s tears flows voluntarily. How could he damaged Seungkwan till this way. Been 7 months & Seungkwan still chanting the reminder. Seungkwan threw him a smile, air wiped his tears for him.

 

“No!! even in a dream. You need to be happy hyung. Your happiness is my life. I love you too much till it hurts. I love your more than you know.”

  
Mingyu’s sobs getting harder

  
“I know Kwannie. I know. I love you too. I love you. I am sorry for everything i said. I love you Kwannie~ah. I love you. I will keep on saying till you carved it in you head that KIM MINGYU loves you!!”

Seungkwan smiled hearing his declaration. Knowing his one-sided love finally no longer a lonely battle.

 

“I wish the dream will carry on forever. I love you Kim Mingyu. I love you”

 

“ I love you Boo Seungkwan. This beanpole, love you too.”

 

“ aww~ you are so handsome Kim Mingyu.”

 

Mingyu stunned, Seungkwan never compliments his outer appearance.

 

“You are so good looking. You have no idea how much i dream on kissing those lips. i wish to explore it with mine. Wanting to engulf those hips with my leg. Badly eager to mark your skin with hickey.”

 

Seungkwan shakes his head.

Mingyu jaws dropped. He didn’t expect all this. He knew his romantically attracted to Seungkwan but does he sexually attracted to him too? Mingyu have no idea.

 

“Just that, it’ll be too good to be true right?”

 

Seungkwan sleepily soft moans Mingyu’s name a few times along with his love before he falls asleep.

 

Mingyu ended the call with a new self discovery. He saw his member tenting up in his pants. He never knew Seungkwan’s voice, his soft moan enchanting his name feel like a love spell lusting him. Maybe he just didn’t realise that he might be gay too all this long.

  
Mingyu headed to the shower, with an extra work to do.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Alarm blasted hit Seungkwan head like drumrolls. He felt the dizziness. Stretch his long body lazily.

 

“Kwan-ah~~, how much did you drink yesterday for you to be this drunk? One Night Kwan-ah~ , just one night i went for sleepover and you become like this? I should dragged you with me yesterday !”

 

Vernon sat at the end of Seungkwan’s bed. Turned right and left. Looking incredulously at all those beer cans lying on the floor.

Seungkwan just smile fondly at Vernon. He knew, the latter was just worried. Nothing more.

 

‘Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!’ Something pop up on his mind!

 

Seungkwan immediately picked his phone. Straight to his call log.

‘Shit’

  
He called Mingyu. Shit. Video Call!!! Shit!  
Sigh... so everything that I thought was just a sweet cloudy dream was actually real?

Sigh!!!

 

“Why Kwan-ah~ , what’s wrong?”

He patted Seungkwan head softly.

  
“Vernonie, l.. hmmm.  
Yesterday was Mingyu Hyung’s birthday.  
I don’t know what to do. i... got so drunk. &.. & ..& I accidentally video called him”

 

“So?”

 

Seungkwan pout,

 

“what do you mean by so?”

 

“It’s not like he’s a stranger. Plus, you loves him and from all his daily message, i know he loves you too. So what’s the big deal?

Kwan-ah~ let me be frank with you.  
What you did now is far crueler than what he did! From what i understand, from the stories YOU had told me, he never called you ugly, he was joking around with his friends. You did the same too.

You talked how Adam Levine hotter than Jusstin Timberlake. Just change it negative form? So? How is that any different? You, yourself think Joshua Hyung better looking than Jihoon Hyung while you’re closer to Jihoon Hyung. Tell me, Seungkwan. How is that any different? Mingyu didnt even know you have feelings for him. Then, what makes him deserve all this silent punishment you been giving him?

You feels that he feels you’re disgusting? At that point of time!! He is STRAIGHT. I am straight as well.

  
Even I can’t imagine how will 2 swords fighting for dominance as much as you dont get the idea why man loves boobs so much but that doesn’t mean I am disgusted towards you.

No. Kwan-ah~~~  
I love you so much as my friend. It don’t change the fact that you are a splendid friend.

So, Seungkwan. It’s about time. for you. to put an end to all of these.

Give him and most important, yourself... a chance! If you hate him already, tell him. Dont leave him hanging. Get the best for both of you. Why on earth two person who loves each other have to suffer? It is not Shakespeare love story anymore.”

 

Seungkwan stunned upon Vernon’s outburst. He might held it in him for a long time. His face turned solemn.

 

“Kwan~ah. I am not angry at you. I’m telling you all this cause i want you to be happy.”

 

“I know Vernonie, i know. Thank you.  
Maybe, this the wake up call that i need.”

 

***🐶🍊

 

Smile never fade Mingyu’s face. What happened yesterday. His longing, paid. although by just looking at Seungkwan’s drunk state. Still. It’s definitely a worthy birthday present to wait for.

 

Wonwoo & MyongHo look at him suspiciously.

  
“Ya, spill the tea. You keep on smiling like a donkey. Why?! Tell Us!”

 

Before he opens his mouth, his phone beep, broke the conversation. This was definitely his best birthday!

 

His hand shakes reading it.

 

‘Ding.’

 

‘Bootiful Kwannie’  
1 message received.

 

Mingyu prays to God as fingers pressed to open it.

 

‘Mingyu Hyung, free to talk?’

 

***🐶🍊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thansk for reading my 2 cents.


	5. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Together

Step out of the shower. Drying himself, trying to throw all his dizziness. Getting himself sober. Seungkwan did some thinking in the shower.

Finally, made his decision

 

‘I need to do this before i change my mind!’

  
He settled on his bed. Be as comfy as possible. Reached for his phone.

Type the message.

 

‘Mingyu Hyung, free to talk?’

 

‘Send !’

  
He fidgeting like a hot shrimp. Nervous on the outcome, lowkey he hope Mingyu gonna be busy. but in his heart & his mind. He knew he have to do this.

 

‘Ding’

  
‘Gimme 5 minutes & i am all yours.’

 

Seungkwan can’t help from smiling.  
‘~~~~all yours. ‘

 

Indeed Vernon was right. Why we need to punish ourself? Why can’t we all be happy. We need this.

 

Been 5 minutes.

  
Silent. Maybe Mingyu still busy.

  
Been 10 minutes.

  
Hmm...

  
Been 15 minutes.

  
Seungkwan contemplating. Should i buzz him again? Should i? Should i?

 

‘Ding’

  
‘Sorry, the traffic was a lil heavy. I just reach home.’

  
‘So.. lets talk Kwannie’

 

Seungkwan heart was full of pink. He miss it. He miss the word Kwannie.

 

‘Are you decent Hyung?’

  
‘Huh? I always am. I not foul mouth or something’

 

Haish this hyung.

 

Seungkwan press the button. He knew message wont do the justice. Justice of altering the message that might let it left unspoken.

 

‘Pabo Mingyu Hyung’

  
Dialling~~~~

 

“Hello”

 

Hearing Mingyu’s voice that he dearly miss. They almost need to call the ambulance.

Seungkwan put his hand on his chest.

‘Calm Seungkwan... calm.’

 

“Hi. Hm... Happy Belated Birthday”

 

“Hm.. thanks~ you had wish me earlier anyway.”

 

Seungkwan ears turned red. He knew he called Mingyu but he cant recall their conversation fully.

 

Sigh. “I saw your name on my call log but i don’t really remember anything. I totally passed out.”

 

Mingyu’s laughter on the other line sound so magical. How much he miss it all.

 

“It’s ok, Kwannie. You just being a cutie drunk. Nothing to worry about.”

 

~~~cutie. Hmm. He blushed.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Mingyu’s heart beats random rhythm. Playing its own melody. Once ballad, now EDM. He got nervous yet happy & fluffy and all juggled into one.

 

“Hyung, i am sorry. I am sorry for everything.”

  
His tears dropped. He knew this will be the end. Just unsure of the ending. It might turn to a dream or nightmare.

 

“It’s ok Kwannie-ah~~~  
You have nothing to be sorry about.”

 

“Please let me finish it hyung. I am not sure when will i have the courage to say it out anymore. So, promise me you wont cut my words in the middle. Please~.”

 

Mingyu slowly nod, “Ok Kwannie.”

 

The sound of Seungkwan inhaling his oxygen. Ruffing his hair. All the silent makes Mingyu heart build with anxiety.

 

“Hmmmm..  
Mingyu Hyung, I am so sorry .  
I am sorry for everything that happened.  
I am sorry for dragging it this long.

  
I knew i was hurt, but i failed to realise that you were hurt too. I am too busy taking care of my heart that end up bleeding yours in the process.

How could i recite my love to you when I didn’t put your happiness as my priority.  
I should do whatever it takes to make you happy even if it cause my suffering as of seeing you happy with someone else.

  
I am so sorry for my childishness. I am sorry Mingyu Hyung

Please Mingyu Hyung. Please.  
Please dont run away from me. Please be patient with me.

Lets put all this nightmares away.

Lets start anew.  
For you. For me. For Us.  
Please Hyung.”

 

Mingyu can’t seem to stop his tears from falling. This is the moment he been waiting for. For his Kwannie to come back to him.

 

“Kwannie, it’s not you. It’s me.  
I am the one who’s wrong. I the one who's hurting you,  
I am so stupid, i can't even realise my own feelings. I am sorry cause of me, all this happened.”

 

“Hyung..”

  
soft sobs heard from the other line. Seungkwan had let it go.

 

“Of course, Kwannie. Of course.  
I will always wait for you. We will take this slowly. One at a time. Don’t rush. OK?  
If it meant to be. It will be”

 

Mingyu wastes no time. He has to grab this opportunity. He switched the Audio to Video Call.

 

Seungkwan hesitate to answer but yes. This is what they need. An exposure for his heart, to break their wall. He accepts it.

 

Mingyu smiled upon seeing Seungkwan wearing the pink hoodie he gave him.

  
“You look good in that. Thanks for wearing it. Thanks Kwannie-ah~~  
That hoodie's design, I designed it while thinking of you. So there will be only one person have it. and it is you”.

 

Mingu smile wider, seeing Seungkwan’s ears turning as pink as the hoodie.

  
“Kwannie-ah look at me.”

Seungkwan chin up. Looking straight at Mingyu. Threw him a smile. A smile that both long miss.

 

“Oh Gosh, you are so beautiful Kwannie. If i know seeing you smile will make me feel this way. I should just frame you up in my room,”

  
Mingyu heart flutter with fluff, hearing Seungkwan’s laugh. Sound maleficent echoing his ears.

“Ah-Hyung~”

Seungkwan whine mockingly.  
Even that sound sweet.  
Mingyu realised the reality.  
Kim Mingyu is whip & wrap around Seungkwan’s finger. Totally whipped.

 

“Lets start fresh Kwannie. Not as bestfriend but as friend that wanting to upgrade their friendship card. Lets start like those who just starting to date.

Start our day with morning wish & end with night call. Lets share photos & daily activity.”

 

“I thought we are going slow? How starting to date consider as slow?”

Seungkwan scratched his head softly.

“&&& your morning & mine are different anyway.”

 

Oh God This Guy Is Cute!

  
“Kwannie-ah~ your night call is my morning wish && if you morning is my early dinner call. We will make it. Lets just call all day then.”

 

“Hyung. relax. We have all the time.”

  
“I know. I just don’t wanna you to slip away again. I had learned from my mistake && thanks Kwannie. thanks for making all this happened. If you didn’t snapped that day. I dont think all this will be possible.”

 

“Thanks for not giving up hyung. & hmm. i think i have to go. & let me tell the news to the rest. talk to you later Hyung.”

 

“Bye Kwannie.”

 

Seungkwan end the call with long smile. The smile that lost it way, finally find it’s place back.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Seungkwan drafted his long message to be sent to the Vocal Group chat group. He cant imagine the respond he will received. They gonna be wild.

 

‘Dear Hyungs.

I have something to tell. Please promise me dont scream!’

Sent! 17:23

 

Seokmin Hyung- ‘even if i did, you wont know. Duhh~’ 17:23

Jihoon Hyung- ‘What is it baby Boo~’ 17:24

  
Seungkwan- ‘I had contacted Mingyu Hyung & we were good. So that’s all’ 17:24

Jeonghan Hyung- ‘what do you mean that’s all! You! Spill all the tea. Dont you date to think we gonna let you leave without all the details’. 17:25

Joshua Hyung- ‘Jeez Hannie, let him breathe. So both of you are official now Boo?’ 17:25

Seungkwan- ‘No!!!!’ 17:25

  
Seungkwan- ‘We just talking and thought that we should stop all those worthless punishment i been giving him. Let get thing back like how it used to do.’ 17:26

 

Jihoon Hyung- ‘But- things are not the same anymore. How could that be like how it used to be?’ 17:26

 

Seungkwan-  ‘the truth is.. I don’t know. I just miss him, i guess. It was his birthday yesterday, i was drunk calling him. & this morning Vernon had enough of all this bullshit & burst out. Guess, then i realise. I should not be stupid & hurt both of us anymore.’ 17:27

 

Joshua Hyung - ‘good for you Boo. I dont want to see you sad. Everyone deserves good love. & the same goes to you’ 17:28

Jeonghan Hyung- ‘i hope you can be like Jihoonie & Soonyoung. The sweetness make me puke.’ 17:28

 

Jihoon Hyung- ‘why do you dragged me into this conversation?’ 17:29

 

Seokmin Hyung- ‘Dont deny that hyung. I saw you & Soonyoung Hyung smooch kisses in the library. When I thought PDA will never be your thing. =P’ 17:30

 

Joshua Hyung- ‘& all the exception when it comes to Soonyoung. You whipped fella’ 17:30

 

Seungkwan laughed at the hyungs reaction. He glad they’re always there through thick & thin. Now just one more person to tell.

 

***🐶🍊

 

He walked out the room and found Vernon sat infront of the TV. watching his favourite tv-shows. Seungkwan walked towards him, engulfed Vernon with a hug.

 

“Hahahhaha, are you still drunk Kwan-ah~ ? i can make you Peppermint Tea”

 

“Thanks Vernonie. Thanks. I did it!”

  
“Did what?”

  
“I called Mingyu Hyung. We cleared up everything. Everything’s good. Thanks Vernonie, I won’t have the guts if not cause of you.”

 

Vernon just smile while returning Seungkwan’s hug. It’s about time.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Day after day passed smoothly, pinky for them.  
Mingyu ensure he’s already awake by the time for their video call date Seungkwan in Pjs. Sleepy Seungkwan is indeed a daily booster for him.

Just let the moments sweep them away  
Lifting to where they should be.

 

***🐶🍊

 

‘This definitely crazy! Is this necessary? Kim Mingyu! What had happened to you?’ Mingyu monologues. He cant even believed himself.

 

Google search.

  
‘How to determine you are really a gay?’

  
He knew his feelings for Seungkwan is love, he also knew now that his body reacting to the said guy  too. so why is this search necessary?

 

Nevertheless, you can never regret for extra knowledge.

 

‘When looking at the signs you are gay, you might want to ask yourself these questions:’

 

Mingyu continues his reading seriously.

 

‘1) Have I ever been sexually attracted to the same sex?’  
Hmmm~ yes .

  
‘2) Do I feel strong emotional bonds to the same sex?’  
Mingyu placed his hand on his chest. Feeling his heart beating. Yes. Indeed i love him.

 

‘3) Have I considered having a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex?’

  
Mingyu ruffed his hair, does he? Hm. He recalled the moment of Seungkwan’s drunk moans his name. Recalled how hot Seungkwan in shorts last few days. Recalled Seungkwan’s words. 

How he wants to kiss this lips. Mingyu’s fingers touching his own lips. How Seungkwan want to explore it with his own.

How Seungkwan clearly said he wants to engulf Mingyu’s hips with his leg. How he wants to eager to mark Mingyu’s skin with hickey. Mingyu feels the heat hit him straight. He can imagine how hot will Seungkwan look when he showers him with tons of kisses.

 

‘4) Have I had sexual same-sex experience in the past?’

Mingyu stunned. Did Seungkwan have the experienced already? He gushed with jealousy. He cant get the picture of the later blowing other guys. He can’t imagine if...

 

‘Should i asked? No Mingyu dont! What you gonna say anyway? Hi, i am jealous over something I read on wiki? Seriously Mingyu?!?’

 

Mingyu getting sulky at his own research. He know this wont be good. He knew he was so whipped for Seungkwan.

 

***🐶🍊

 

“Hello Hyung.”

  
Mingyu smiled at his Kwannie. The video calls never seem enough.

 

“Kwannie. How’s your test today? Was the questions hard.?”

 

“A lil, hmmm. Enough of that, i just wanna rest my over work brain while looking at my favourite person going to dreamland. Hmm, by the way Hyung, Korea must be very hot now. Summer hit right. Here the most is 25.”

 

Their conversation involved small insignificant things yet that what keep them going strong.

 

“ Kwannie-ah~ my bed misses you.”

Mingyu pat at Seungkwan’s usual side of the bed. The latter blushed. It’s not like something new but, their status now make it fluff.

‘His bed miss me’

 

***🐶🍊

 

12 June 2019

 

Semester break officially start.  
Mingyu getting bored. He can’t even call Seungkwan as the latter busy packing his stuffs. Kwannie going back home. His Semester ended last few days.

 

“Hyung, i am so dead tired. Why do i have so many stuff?”

 

“Kwannie. Rest, dont push yourself. When is your flight back again. I wanna make sure i didnt miss the date to pick you up later.”

“In 2 weeks Hyung. I will email you my flight details later. No worries.”

He fell asleep right after, his soft tired snore replied the conversation.

 

“Kim Mingyu.”

  
Mingyu’s eyes widen at his name. Seungkwan’s sleep talking dreaming his name is something he clearly need.

  
“Mingyu, Saranghae!”

 

The call end with cloud nine fly of Mingyu's heart .

 

***🐶🍊

 

18 June 2019

 

Mingyu was unable to be reach.

The operator lady keep on answering the phone. Seungkwan fidgets in distress.

  
‘Is something happened to him?’

  
Been 20 hours. && he still cant reach him. Seungkwan can’t help it from being so worried.

 

“Kwan-ah~ lets go & grab some burger.”

  
“Lets go.”

 

Seungkwan & Vernon dropped by for some groceries shopping after dinner. They still have 5-6 more days before their flight. They shipped their stuff away already. Just a few more bag of clothes & daily usage. Nothings more.

 

Hand full of groceries & keys located far into his jean’s pocket.

 

“Vernonie, take the keys in the right side pocket.”

 

“Ya!!!!!”

  
Seungkwan & Vernon immediately turn towards the voice. Mingyu stand across of them. Looking angry.

 

Vernon enter the house first & went back to pick those at Seungkwan’s hand as well while the he wait for Mingyu.

Mingyu grabs Seungkwan wrist to the car he rented.

 

“Auchhh!!!! Hyung, it’s hurt”

  
Mingyu let it go. Realised his silliness boiled up with jealousy.

Seungkwan cupped Mingyu’s face.

  
“You’re real. Right?”

  
“Care to tell me why his hand on your ass Kwannie?”

 

Seungkwan looks at Mingyu’s face incredulously. Awwww~~~ The Kim Mingyu was jealous.

 

“Hm.. to get the keys? My hands were full just now if you care to notice”

  
Huffff!!!

 

“Why cant he bring his own keys then?”

 

Seungkwan just patted Mingyu’s cheeks with adoration.

 

“Jelly Mingyu is a cute Mingyu. Why are you here? How come?”

 

“I cant wait anymore for my baby to come home. Another 5 days seems like eternity. So here i am. My return date will be the same as yours.” Informed  Mingyu excitedly. Like a lost puppy. 

 

Seungkwan smooch Mingyu’s lips without thinking. It seem right. Blushed by the sudden attack.

 

“Lets give us some privacy. We have so much catch up to do. Inform Vernon that you will be spending the night at my hotel.”

 

“Let me take my clothes then.”

  
“It’s ok. I miss seeing you in mine.”

 

The journey back to hotel was quiet but comfortable. Seungkwan glanced at their intertwined fingers. This is real. The Kim Mingyu is real. Mingy brought their fingers close to his mouth. Kiss Seungkwan’s with full of love.

 

‘Thanks heaven for permitting this love.”


	6. End.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end of their fairytales.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this come to an end. Thanks for reading. 😊

Seungkwan crawled to the bed as soon as they entered.

 

“Kwannie,dont! go & clean up first.”

  
“ah~~~ I’m tired... why i have to go first?”

“Cause i had my shower before i went to pick you up.”

  
“Hmm...Ok Hyung.”

 

Seungkwan went to the bedroom with soft complains escaped his lips. Mingyu took out a soft green hoodie & Seungkwan’s short. How he even thought of bringing Seungkwan’s clothes along? Even Mingyu surprised with himself.

 

***🐶🍊

 

  
They settled down cuddling on the bed with a glass of wine on each hand.

 

“Ouch!”

Mingyu rubbed his redden cheek that Seungkwan pinched.

 

“What the hell? Why?”

 

“Checking. If you are real.”

  
“I am”

Mingyu’s tone soften. He intertwined their fingers and smooch on Seungkwan’s rosy pink cheekbone.

 

“Kwannie, i’ve told my mom & dad bout us”

  
“What? && what they say?”

  
“They’re happy for us. I just feel pity for Seungcheol Hyung. He will be forced to give them grandchildren. Hahahaha.”

 

“oh~~~ i am so sorry”

 

Mingyu can’t help but noticed the sadness the big eyes. Seungkwan smiled & channel his gaze to the tv infront.

  
“What’s wrong Kwannie?”

“Huh? Hm.. nothing. Lets watch the movie”

Seungkwan leaned his head towards Mingyu’s chest.

  
“Kwannie-ah~, tell me. What’s wrong? Why do you seem so sad all of the sudden?”

 

He turned Seungkwan’s body, facing him. Chin up the latter, looking into his eyes.

 

Sigh..  
Seungkwan took a really deep breath. Loosen himself from Mingyu’s tight hug. Moved his body facing the older. He threw a bitter smile. Sigh..

 

“Mingyu Hyung, dont push yourself.  
It’s ok if you don’t return the love. it’s ok if you want to leave & be free.”

 

Mingyu stunned upon hearing it. He can feel his heart scattered. He felt like Seungkwan going to run & leave him alone.. again. and at the same time, he feels touched. Till the end, Seungkwan priority was always about him. 

 

“No. Kwannie.. No”

  
“I’m ok. Don’t worry. I wont run away. If that what make you hesitate. I can’t change & mould you, forcing you, and cater to my liking. Don’t worry. It’s ok.  
Don’t force yourself to be someone whom you’re not.

I had prepared my heart enough. You dont have to force yourself. I am ok with this little memories and hope. if you’re actually not a gay. It’s ok. I wont run. I will still be here.. by your side & be there for you.!  
Just one thing i would like to request.”

 

“.........”

 

“Promise that you wont ignore me. I cant bear losing someone closest to me.”

 

“No. kwannie, No”.

 

“Oh~~ even that is a no.  Hmm... it’s ok. I understand. I am so sorry. I just need you to be happy. I am too overjoyed with my own dream until I forgot your love for children. If you continue being with me, you cant never have one. I’m so sorry for being selfish. I am so sorry”.

 

Mingyu’s cheeks getting wet with his own tears. His heart beats rapidly. He knew Seungkwan love him but Mingyu never expect the younger willingness was up to this extent to make him happy. Seungkwan’s decision will always about Mingyu. Mingyu had always being his priority. His pure heart.

 

Mingyu pulled Seungkwan into a hug. He hold him tighter. He whispered to Seungkwan’s ear.

 

“I love you Kwannie. It’s you and always gonna be you. Thanks for everything.”

 

Mingyu placed a kiss on the younger’s neck before he continue.

 

“Kwannie, i do love kids. You do too.. but.. We can shower our love to Seungcheol Hyung’s children & your brothers’s kids when they have theirs in the future. && we can always adopt if we really need one. Nothing can beat how much I love you Kwannie  
I love you & i wont change my mind. I will always here for you.”

 

Smile escaped Seungkwan’s lips.

 

  
“You cant run even if you want in the future hyung cause i wont let that happened.”

 

Seungkwan caressed Mingyu’s face. Eloped his hand to the back of the older’s neck. Pulled him for a kiss. He locked their lips together. Mingyu shocked by the sudden attack.

Yet,  
He returned the kiss.  
Mingyu’s bites Seungkwan’s lower lips asking for an entrance, elicited a soft moan from the latter.  
Mingyu carried Seungkwan up to his laps.

  
They begin their exploration of each others mouth. Accompanied by the dance of their tongue. Seungkwan wrapped the older’s waist with his legs. He felt the hardened clothed member of the other poking his entrance.

 

Seungkwan broke their kiss for oxygen. Gently brushed his cheek ass with the hardened friend in the tent for confirmation.

He smirked.

“Is that ?”

He asked while moving up and down slowly.

“i’m never not turn on by you.”

He responded while taking off his hoodie from Seungkwan’s body. Kissing the pale skin, marking him. Claiming his love.  
Hard moans escaped his Kwannie as he bites the younger’s rosy nipple. his pre-cum starts leaking. They continued their journey of expedition. Exploring every inch of each other’s body.

 

Moans echoed the room along with worshiping each other’s name. screaming and begging engulfed the motion. Their night falls deeper creating another history.  
A hot steamy history.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Slowly opened his eyes. Mingyu smiled looking at sleeping Seungkwan. His smile widen as his mind replaying yesterday memories. Everything seems so magical. His Kwannie by his side. He leaned down giving his Kwannie a soft peck. Seungkwan twitched in his sleep. Opened his eyes lazily.

 

“Hyung~”

Seungkwan hugged his lover tightly by his waist. That morning whine sound so beautiful. Mingyu lands another smooches after another on Seungkwan’s face chanting his soft spell.

  
“ you are beautiful Kwannie-ah~“  
“So beautiful. “  
“& you are mine”

 

Seungkwan felt his back killing him when he tries to sit right away but the remembrance pleasures clouding the pain.

  
“I am hungry. Lets get ready & go for breakfast.”

“ahhhh~ lets just order in.”

  
“Hahaha. ok hyung but we still need to shower. Get up..”

“Can we have an encore?”

***🐶🍊

 

“Hyung, i still need to pack up remaining stuffs before headed back to Korea. so, later lets go to my house?”

  
“will he be there?”

  
“who?”

  
“The guy that grabbed your ass yesterday. Duhh~~”

 

“Oh... Vernonie. Of course. He is my housemate hyung. Awww~ are you jealous? Hahaha”

  
Seungkwan’s laughter seem like mocking to Mingyu. He pouted for attention.

 

“Hyung~~ he is straight. Dont worry.”

  
“I was once too. Incase you forget. You will never know the charm of the ethereal Boo Seungkwan.”

  
Seungkwan burst out laughing.

  
“He have a steady girlfriend hyung. They had been together for 3 years. You know her too. She was in your class.”

  
“Seriously?”

Mingyu still refuse to believe.

  
“Hyung~~ I even uploaded their kissing photo on my ig when she came to visit us last time. The one during music festival.”

  
The reality hit straight for Mingyu. He never swipe the next photo, blinded with jealousy.

“Plus, i have you now. Don’t i. The tall & sexy Kim Mingyu.”

  
Seungkwan planting tons of kisses across Mingyu’s body.  
He kiss Mingyu’s lips hard, never fails to suck on the older’s lips making it redder. Seungkwan swallows Mingyu’s moans as he bites the older bottom lips, pushing his tongue in. He wrapped hi arms around Mingyu’s neck. Pulling him closer as their tongues playing date inside his mouth.

“Ahh~”

Mingyu moans when he accidentally brushes Seungkwan’s semi hard tent poking against his clothed crotch. He continued snaking his hand around Seungkwan waist. Making his way towards the latter ass. Grabbed his full cheeks, teasing his entrance. Their room was full of heated moans and begging calling each other asking for more. Full of love and lust. Making their way filing overtime for their postponed claimed of love.

 

***🐶🍊

 

They spent rest of the week with sightseeing for final time and packing.  
Few cleaning left before they headed back to Seoul.  
Poor Vernon. He have to witness the two lover and even worst trapped to be in the middle of the lovebirds.

 

First weeks of jet lagged and another week was the beginning of new semester. Their final semester. A semester of final projects and lots of sleepless night.

 

Mingyu and Seungkwan spent their final year together. They decided to rent a house together closer to the university. It will be hassle for Mingyu if he need to bring all his art supplies all the way from home. Thus, a 2-bedroom house which they used one room as their study room and Mingyu’s work station while the other as their bedroom.

Their day usually start with breakfast by Mingyu and coffee by Seungkwan. Great harmony to start the day. Everyone on campus acknowledged the new couple. The whipped couple. They gives hope to people that love have no boundaries. If meant to be, it will be. Juniors look at them with amazement but nevertheless envy look by those girls towards Seungkwan from Mingyu’s (unregistered) fan club.

 

No boat sails to an island without storm so did their relationship. It does evolves stupid things like latte vs americano, who should spoon for the night, one should sleep and not accompany the others with their assignments. Stupid yet fluffy.

 

Sometimes, Seungkwan hit by self-esteem attack. He had the feeing tingling down his spine that Mingyu was just too good for him. What is Mingyu woke up from this dream and realised that Seungkwan was just not worth it. Mingyu will counter each of that by ensuring how precious is Seungkwan. Seungkwan indeed the most beautiful person for his eyes.

 

Mingyu on the other hand, being over protective or over clingy. He still clouded by his own imagination (or not) that people are eying his Kwannie’s ass.

 

‘Hey, stop looking. That’s mine’

the silent and warning looks escaped his face whenever someone googling his precious bulb. Usually, those jealousy day will end with spanking and massages. Guess.. Seungkwan purposely chose the tight jeans for those days. You never know. The plan of witty mind of Boo Seungkwan.

 

Once they graduated, Seungkwan continues his Master’s degree while Mingyu opened his own art studio and gallery. Blessed with long torso and good looks made the brand name rose up really quick. The handsome artist. His best art at the entrance of his gallery was a drawing of Seungkwan’s smiling at him. The one and only art that will never be on sale.

 

***🐶🍊

 

A table of good looking guys hanging out & reminiscing their good & bad memories. Coffee, juice & cakes for good teatime gathering. Meet up for wedding preparation of Jihoon & Soonyoung. Never cross ones mind that Jihoon will be the first to fall into marriage life.

 

Seungkwan definitely becoming the busiest person after both grooms as he gonna be Jihoon’s bestman.  
From flowers, arrangements, wine selection, suits to foods. Basically, it was very hectic year for all of them. First wedding for the crew.

Mingyu approached and sit beside Seungkwan. Place his hand over Seungkwan’s nape. Massaged it slow.

  
“Tired?”

  
Seungkwan just nodded and pouts.

  
“Take it slow. We can learn so much from this.” Seungkwan nodded agreeing Mingyu’s statement.

  
“Yup, i think when Hannie Hyung’s turns come later, I definitely can help them better.”

  
Mingyu sneaked up on Seungkwan’s waist from behind and kissed from the top of his shoulder, along the curve towards the younger’s ear and whispered.

  
“No Kwannie, for us.”

Mingyu’s got down on his knees.

  
“I know this definitely not the romantic wish you had in mind, but i just feel the time is right. So Boo Seungkwan, will you hand me the honour to be your life companion. Will you marry me?”

 

Seungkwan’s tears meet the earth. He pulled Mingyu’s into a hug. Sobbingly his answer.

“Yes!! Kim Mingyu, i will be delighted to be yours legally.”

  
He claimed Mingyu’s lips with a quick kiss.

  
“Thank you Kim Mingyu for making my life wonderful.”

  
“It me, the one who should thanking you Boo Seungkwan for colouring my dull life”

 

Mingyu took out the velvet box from his pocket. Open and slides the ring to Seungkwan’s finger. Whispered to his ears.

  
“You are mine, mr fiancé.”

 

Seungkwan smile never escaped the night. The shocked and overjoyed from the rest on the next day was definitely memorable. Indeed Seungkwan was Jihoon’s baby. Right after Jihoon, he will follow his hyung footsteps into marriage life.

 

***🐶🍊

 

Special screening at Mingyu’s gallery.

Whole set of photography and art of his beloved. Every photos are his collection from the start of developing his artist inner-self. Lots of Seungkwan. Lots of sketches of Seungkwan. Lots of photography of Seungkwan.

 

He never failed to amaze how stupid he felt that he never knew his own feelings towards the later. His sketch books and even his daily art log was full of Seungkwan and their memories captured together.

 

Seungkwan smile all the way. He always be thankful. This life. The life that Seungkwan never once thought will be achievable. The one with his hyung. His Mingyu. The one he love. The one his heart beating for. The one he need.

 

His smile widen as he looks at the guest door gifts. 10 pieces postcard of digitalise art with love quote. Half of it are the one Mingyu’s told him while the rest what he recite to Mingyu.

 

Anyone who had seen them can feel the love and appreciation of Mingyu and Seungkwan.

  
At the bottom of the guest booklet. Written.

  
“Thanks heaven for permitting this love. Thanks for the greatest gift.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope anyone reading it will enjoy. I cant and sux at writing but being so stubborn and write anyway.


End file.
